Two Different Questions

I have been reading quite a few articles on the court case in Pennsylvania regarding intelligent design's place in the classroom. The book Of Pandas and People, which was in the school board’s statement, sparked my interest so I decide to look it up. On Amazon.com I read the book's description and then the comments several people made. Most of these comments were less than favorable, one even being sarcastic. The main complaint I garnered from the comments was there was little evidence given supporting intelligent design. This didn't come as a big surprise since intelligent design is not considered a theory and evolution is. Based on the lack of scientific evidence for intelligent design it shouldn't be taught in a science classroom. I fail to see how intelligent design is an alternative to evolution not because of the lack of evidence but because it doesn't deal with the same questions. Evolution describes the process, backed up by evidence, by which life changes over time. Intelligent design claims that because of the complexity of life an intelligent being must have created it. Evolution tries to explain how and intelligent design tries to explain what or who. There really is no reason an intelligent being could not have created and changed life through using the process of evolution. One comment I found in favor of the book was of interest to me.

"Put your faith in the Big Prankster. He's just messing with you. He created the fossil record at the same time he created all the living beings on this planet. This is a test of faith.

Doesn't it comfort you that God would play such a joke on mankind? He gave us the intelligence to figure out the logical progression of life from clues he planted intentionally to fool us, then he gave us a book whose wisdom challenges the logical progression he laid out and told us to believe in it, or else.

Now he's waiting to see whether he can float us on a cloud or roast us on a spit for all eternity based on our decision.

These thoughts are what help me to sleep peacefully at night." quoted from Tony P. Konig on Amazon.com a review of the book Of Pandas and People

I fail to see why Tony's argument that an all powerful being, who plays games with your immortal soul by creating false evidence and telling you to believe otherwise, should be comforting. If anything it should be very scary. Tony's argument also brings into question whether such a God could be considered good since he is lying to us by fabricating false evidence. I prefer to think that God isn't lying to us through fossil records and other evidence. It seems better to think that we are lying to ourselves by seeing conflicts where there really are none and that we are misguidedly trying to convince ourselves otherwise by looking to sources with little evidence.

Walking Alone

A person walking alone may trip.
A person who trips falls.
A person walking with friends may trip.
A person with friends has someone to catch him.

Wisdom I acquired from a road sign.

Should we Quarter him with Arabian Horses?

I find it utterly amazing the statements Michael Brown made to a House committee. He laid the blame for the slow response to Katrina on the local government. It is absurd to blame local officials for a slow response to this disaster since any local aid was blown away by the gigantic hurricane. Read below the wise words of the former FEMA director and former counsel for the International Arabian Horse Association.

"If I, Mike Brown, individual, could have done something to convince them that this was the big one and they needed to order a mandatory evacuation, I would have done it."

Dude, you were the head of FEMA you could have at least tried going on television and telling people how dangerous this hurricane was before it made landfall.

"I don't have a clue how many [people] were truly in the Superdome," Said Brown.

Brown was asked if he was still a federal employee to which he responded, "You know, I don't know."

Sadly he still is a federal employee.

"feeble," "clueless," "shocking" and "beyond belief." "I'm happy you left, because that kind of . . . look in the lights like a deer tells me that you weren't capable to do the job." Rep. Christopher Shays (R) Connecticut on Michael Brown's remarks.

Brown said the White House "was fully engaged . . . behind the scenes,"

"They had to be behind the scenes, because I think we didn't see anything out front." Chairman Thomas M. Davis III (R) Virginia.

All I have left to say is I have to agree with the Representative from Connecticut.

More Reasonable Capital Punishment

The use of the death penalty in this country seems to spark much debate. Many people believe that the death penalty should be abolished because it could execute innocent people. Others argue that the death penalty is a necessary tool to deter criminals. I am not opposed to the death penalty itself but I am opposed to the misuse of the death penalty. The main problem with the death penalty today is the uncertainty that the person convicted committed the crime. Courts sometimes deny DNA testing on evidence, which may rule out the defendant as a possible perpetrator. I find it illogical to not test any DNA evidence available. The goal in prosecuting a person under the death penalty is to make sure that the right person is punished severely for their crimes. One argument I have heard regarding why not to test this type of evidence is that the defendants are only using it as a delaying tactic when they know they have no other options left. This argument is illogical because it is irrelevant when a guilty person is executed. Common wisdom suggests that if the person is guilty he/she will spend an eternity in hell. What is the difference between eternity and two weeks versus eternity and two month or even two years? The answer is none. I believe it is a distinct possibility that the government has already executed at least one innocent person in the last twenty years. I base this on the fact that the courts in Virginia have ruled to not allow DNA testing on evidence after a person has been executed. There is no other logical explanation for this ruling than the government does not want old evidence tested which might show it was wrong and executed innocent people. As to the question of whether or not the death penalty is morally right I would have to agree that under some circumstances it is. A circumstance under which I believe the death penalty to be right is one in which there is no doubt an individual is guilty. These circumstances include: self-defense when a person is actively trying to kill you, serial killers, and murders in which a person leaves evidence of his/her presence at the scene and has been video taped or there are many credible witnesses in broad daylight. All of these situations have in common an overwhelming certainty that the identity of the perpetrator is known. One more circumstance I will add to this list is in the event a convict kills a guard or another inmate. I add this circumstance because if I did not there would be no further deterrent to prevent inmates serving life in prison from killing again. Many years ago an inmate escaped from a prison in which he was serving a life sentence. He was cornered in a house in Michigan City holding a family hostage. He surrendered to the police after killing the hostages. He received no further punishment because the courts had abolished the death penalty around that time. The problem with the death penalty is not that it exists but that both those who support it and those who want to abolish it apply it improperly.

Read More About Stem Cells

Sometimes I wonder if people even know anything about the subjects they see in the news. If anyone bothered to do a little fact finding there would be no debate about stem cell research. In order to harvest embryonic stem cells it is necessary to destroy the embryos. This bothers many people because they happen to believe that doing so is killing a human being. This belief is irrelevant to whether or not we should conduct embryonic stem cell research. Many embryos are created as byproducts of invetro fertilization. These embryos are frozen and eventually will be thrown out when they are no longer viable. They will never be implanted into a womb to grow into children. Since not one of these embryos will ever achieve any usefulness or a long and healthy life they are going to waste. Using these embryos for research that could help people is far better than treating them as junk to be thrown out. People who argue against the use of these embryos are not advocating saving a life but are condemning the embryos to death in a trash heap. They argue not to allow them to contribute what little they can to the world in the form of useful research. If these people argued for the end of invetro fertilization, which creates these wasted embryos, I might agree with them but their position is illogical. It would be a far better position for them to ask doctors to end the practice of invetro fertilization and for the women who hold this position to volunteer themselves for implantation with these embryos so that they can grow into healthy children.

The Flame

The flame that forges anger
Resides within the heart
Giving strength to the poor
Giving power to the wronged
Giving weakness to the ambitious

When anger feeds upon itself
It consumes a piece of the heart
Weakening one's control
Clouding one's thoughts
Erasing a person
Leaving only a feeling

A strong heart contains the flame
Keeping it from spilling out
And burning the one who forges it
In this way the forger shapes the outcome
Directing what is made by his soul.

Does the Antichrist Pay for Broadcast Time?

After publishing the post on Pat Robertson's comment a week or two ago I decided to look up some quotes of other things he has said. At this time I would like to retract what I said in my previous post and state that the 700 Club should be boycotted as long as he still appears on it. I consider him to be a very dangerous person to America if anyone watching his show starts believing in what he says. Below are some quotes I find particularly enlightening.

"We have enough votes to run the country. And when the people say, "We've had enough," we are going to take over." - Pat Robertson a speech given to the April, 1980 "Washington for Jesus" rally

That’s right he wants to take over the country.

"We at the Christian Coalition are raising an army who cares. We are training people to be effective -- to be elected to school boards, to city councils, to state legislatures, and to key positions in political parties.... By the end of this decade, if we work and give and organize and train, THE CHRISTIAN COALITION WILL BE THE MOST POWERFUL POLITICAL ORGANIZATION IN AMERICA." - Pat Robertson, in a fundraising letter, July 4, 1991

He is creating an army and infiltrating the political system. Before anyone calls me paranoid let me point out that these are actual things he has written or said. My personal estimate of this is his grasp is greater than his reach.

"There is no such thing as separation of church and state in the Constitution. It is a lie of the Left and we are not going to take it anymore." - Pat Robertson, address to his American Center for Law and Justice, November, 1993.

Pat is, in fact, correct. There is no mention of the words separation, church, and state in Article I of the U.S. Constitution. However, he most likely failed government in high school because it does state "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;" This clearly means the government isn't supposed to make rules and laws which help establish or favor a particular religion.

"Individual Christians are the only ones really -- and Jewish people, those who trust God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob -- are the only ones that are qualified to have the reign, because hopefully, they will be governed by God and submit to Him." - Pat Robertson, The 700 Club television program, January 11, 1985

Didn't he at least forget Hindus and Buddhists? I'm not keen on having Islamic clerics in power myself but that’s because I'm not sure they'd uphold the Constitution any better than Pat.

"I never said that in my life ... I never said only Christians and Jews. I never said that."
- Pat Robertson, Time magazine

Either he is a hypocrite or has a very poor memory, or maybe both.

"When I said during my presidential bid that I would only bring Christians and Jews into the government, I hit a firestorm. "What do you mean?" the media challenged me. "You're not going to bring atheists into the government? How dare you maintain that those who believe in the Judeo-Christian values are better qualified to govern America than Hindus and Muslims?" My simple answer is, "Yes, they are."" - Pat Robertson, The New World Order, p. 218

And here I thought America was supposed to be governed by the people in general when all along it was really Christian and Jewish people only.

"You say you're supposed to be nice to the Episcopalians and the Presbyterians and the Methodists and this, that, and the other thing. Nonsense. I don't have to be nice to the spirit of the Antichrist. I can love the people who hold false opinions but I don't have to be nice to them." - Pat Robertson, The 700 Club television program, January 14, 1991

That’s right according to Pat love isn't the same thing as being nice to people. So much for Episcopalians, Presbyterians, and Methodists in Pat's new government. I wonder who the Methodists think is the Antichrist?

"The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians." - Pat Robertson, fundraising letter, 1992

There really isn't much I can say to this. I think the parts about "kill their children" and "destroy capitalism" speak for themselves.

"[Planned Parenthood] is teaching kids to fornicate, teaching people to have adultery, every kind of bestiality, homosexuality, lesbianism -- everything that the Bible condemns." - Pat Robertson, The 700 Club television program, April 9, 1991

Wow. Not only do they teach about STDs and how to use a condom. According to Pat you can take classes on how to have sex with animals too.

"I know this is painful for the ladies to hear, but if you get married, you have accepted the headship of a man, your husband. Christ is the head of the household and the husband is the head of the wife, and that's the way it is, period." - Pat Robertson, The 700 Club television program, January 8, 1992

This is probably why Pat Robertson lost his campaign for the presidency. Half of America read this and didn't vote for him.

"Many of those people involved with Adolph Hitler were Satanists, many of them were homosexuals -- the two things seem to go together." - Pat Robertson, The 700 Club television program, January 21, 1993

I have it on good authority that the Nazis were equally ruthless in killing homosexuals and Jews.

"I would warn Orlando that you're right in the way of some serious hurricanes, and I don't think I'd be waving those flags in God's face if I were you." - Pat Robertson, The 700 Club television program, August 6, 1998, on the occasion of the Orlando, Florida, Gay Pride Festival 1998

Way to state the obvious Pat. But I don't think not waving a flag is going to keep hurricanes from hitting Florida.

"I think we ought to close Halloween down. Do you want your children to dress up as witches? The Druids used to dress up like this when they were doing human sacrifice... [Your children] are acting out Satanic rituals and participating in it, and don't even realize it." - Pat Robertson, The 700 Club television program, October 29, 1982

Well I guess I know whom to blame for canceling Halloween at my elementary school. Dear Trick-or-Treaters please send Pat's family all the candy you can afford to part with. I have a feeling his children need it badly.

"Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It's no different. It is the same thing. It is happening all over again. It is the Democratic Congress, the liberal-based media and the homosexuals who want to destroy the Christians. Wholesale abuse and discrimination and the worst bigotry directed toward any group in America today. More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history." - Pat Robertson, interview with Molly Ivins, 1993.

There are quite a few more quotes from Pat I could add but I'll spare the readers. This is too long already anyway. I think I'll call it a night and go round up some Christians for our local concentration camps and maybe test out my homemade gas chamber.

Not Very Christian Of Him

U.S. relations with the rest of the world are bound to take another plunge due to Pat Robertson's recent comments. For those of you who are unaware he made a statement that the U.S. should assassinate the President of Venezuela, Hugo Chavez. This statement is something that is very hypocritical for a person who would claim to be a good Christian. Stating that the United States should coldly murder a man shows that Pat Robertson is not a good Christian since the Bible expressly forbids murder. I'm sure most people understand this basic fact from the Bible but I am concerned about those individuals who would trust the judgment of a man who calmly makes such statements. I call for a boycott of the 700 Club until Mr.Robertson publicly asks for forgiveness from God and his fellow Americans who he has wronged. Normally I would call for his removal from television but I've decided to give forgiveness a chance. Please write Mr.Robertson and encourage him to seek forgiveness and God more fully.

Peon Part I: Green Berries, Grunts, and Frogs

This is the original part one of my story Peon plus what was supposed to be part two. I condensed them into one because they fit so well. I know this has been long awaited. Sorry for the inconvenience of waiting.

Part I: Green Berries, Grunts, and Frogs

In a time there was a place not unlike our own. In this place there were many kingdoms each of which had its own set of rules and customs and each hated or liked each other accordingly. In one particular kingdom there lived a peon. The peon was a normal peon not standing out in any way and living up to his name, Peon, in every possible way. Peon had a normal existence. Every day he would leave his cabin and travel through the woods to cut down trees for firewood, hunt, fish, pick any berries he came across, and return to his cabin at the end of the day. He really liked berries. The problem he had was that the weather had not been conducive to berry growth this year and so no berries had grown for him to pick. Liking berries as much as he did he decided that he could not go without and so packed his gear and set out on a hike to the nearest town. Traveling through the woods Peon behaved like the average everyday normal peon he was. He hunted, he fished, he cut limbs off trees for firewood, and he thought about berries. In fact, the better part of the time he spent hiking he would think about berries. He thought of blueberries, redberries, purpleberries, orangeberries, yellowberries, blackberries, whiteberries, and even greenberries, which he new would ripen into any of the former kinds of berries. As he was thinking about berries on the third day of his journey to the nearest town to purchase berries he failed to notice two things. The first thing was that he had left the forest and was now walking down a large path, or rather a dirt road. The second was that on the dirt road headed toward him was a very fast moving mover drawn cart. Fortunately for Peon the peon in the mover drawn cart was very observant having had several points previously removed from his mover’s license. Not wanting to accidentally loose the aforementioned license due to the removal of more points he asked the movers drawing the cart to stop quickly. It is worth noting that this was impressive not because the movers stopped but that they did so quickly in compliance with the peon driver’s command. It is a well known fact throughout the kingdoms that movers possess two qualities. The first quality is supreme stupidity in every possible way. A mover can be given two instructions: stop and go. A specific direction is usually determined by which direction the mover is facing when the command is given. The second quality is supreme stubbornness, which accounts for why it was impressive that they did as the peon ordered. A mover told to hurry so that its driver can be at his desired destination on time almost always chooses its own pace. This speed is usually either so mind numbingly fast as to leave the driver retching his guts out on the pavement or so slow as to take three moons to reach a desired destination normally located a good trillionth moon walking distance away. Peon was very fortunate that the movers obeyed their driver and stopped quickly on top of his right foot. At first Peon was so absorbed in his thoughts of berries and various methods of berry preparation that he felt no pain coming from his crushed foot. The mover standing upon Peon’s right foot was more than happy to provide the necessary stimulus of licking Peon’s face with its giant slimy tongue to facilitate the proper pain response. Peon after yelling, gibbering, whimpering, and attempting to dance in place with one free foot, set about to telling the movers to move off his foot in the opposite direction as forwards. As previously mentioned movers only know two commands and reverse was not one of them. Realizing that the movers were uncooperative or simply too stupid to move to a location more suitable for his comfort Peon irritably asked the driver to help. The peon driving the cart stared blankly at Peon for a moment before stepping down from the cart and moving to search it for something useful in removing movers from peon feet. The peon rummaging through the cart found the only tool useful for removing the movers and walked to Peon to set about freeing him. This did not agree with Peon’s desired possible courses of action at all. The tool considered the only useful tool for freeing a peon’s foot from that of a mover was an exceptionally sharp axe. Seeing the peon brandishing this axe was not at all reassuring in that there was no possibility that it would be used on the offending mover. Such an axe would most certainly be used upon Peon’s foot as the peon with the axe deemed it easier to replace than a useful mover if movers could be said to be useful. As the peon came within a suitable cutting distance and began to raise the exceptionally sharp axe Peon took the only course of action he could think of. He punched the peon square in the jaw as hard as he could and watched his eyes roll up into his head. This is not what actually happened. Peon’s attack on the axe-wielding peon did not result in the desired result of unconsciousness for that peon. Instead the peon staggered backward tripped over a rock and fell over the embankment several feet into the ditch by the side of the road. After several infinitesimally small and yet infinitely long seeming parts of a moon Peon came to the conclusion that the axe wielding peon in the ditch was not going to come back up the bank and somewhat angrily resume his work of cutting off parts of Peon. Peon returned his thoughts to the problem at hand or rather at foot. The mover still standing on Peon’s foot showed no sign of moving anytime in the next three moons. Peon was thinking of a way to move the mover off his foot when a magnificent transporter drawn carriage trundled passed him. For a few more infinitesimally small yet infinitely long seeming parts of a moon he was too stunned by the beauty of the carriage to say anything. Then coming to his senses he began yelling at the carriage to stop and help him. The carriage ignored him and continued on its way toward town. Peon decided that this annoyed him very much. For awhile after the carriage passed he continued to think of ways to convince the mover to move off his foot but none of the ideas he tried worked. Finally becoming frustrated he gave up and took his bubbler out of his pack, closed his eyes, and commenced to bubbling. The bubbles were having a relaxing effect on Peon and he had almost forgotten about that annoying carriage when he noticed he could move his right foot, although painfully. Curious as to why he could commence in this painful activity he opened his eyes. What he saw when he opened his eyes was a mover very distressed by the bubbles bubbling into its nose and that the mover had lifted its hoof off his foot in its attempts to sneeze. An instant later Peon received a front row seat to what happens when a mover sneezes. When a mover sneezes it has the unpleasant tendency to expel large quantities of mucus in an extremely messy form, which covers just about everything in an arc in front of it. The wad of mucus that hit Peon in the face and, pretty much everywhere else, made him topple over backwards on the ground where he sat for several trillionths of a moon. After coming to his senses he wiped the dripping mucus off his face and slowly stood up being careful not to put too much pressure on his crushed foot. After standing for several more trillionths of a moon he started hobbling to the edge of the embankment. He peered down the embankment to where the peon laid motionless then ever so slowly slid down to where he laid. After kicking the peon in the head three times, rather harshly as he was still sore about the whole cutting off parts of Peon thing, Peon determined that the peon was already dead from the fall. Peon then picked up the exceptionally sharp axe and after examining it determined that it was indeed an exceptionally sharp axe, a far better one than he had been carrying. Peon crawled back up the embankment to the road and began limping to town.

Upon reaching a hill overlooking the town Peon was stunned silent for several parts of a moon. Being from a rather poorly developed kingdom and living in a forest he had not seen such a large town before or in fact ever. The closest he had ever come to seeing an actual town was the tri-annual migration of woolerby. The woolerby renowned for its woolyness migrates from the northern most kingdom of Pole, through the many kingdoms, to the southern most kingdom of Pole. It is worth noting that Pole and Pole are not the same kingdom though many travelers get confused between the two. This should not be the case as the two kingdoms are entirely different. Pole has translucent ice while Pole has ice that is somewhat opaque. The other difference should the consistency of the terrain not be enough is that the inflection is different in the respective languages of the two kingdoms. As the woolerby migrate they are followed by the dewoolerbys who construct makeshift shantytowns all along the migration route. The dewoolerbys’ origins are thought to have originated from the peons of one or both of the two kingdoms who discovered that by helping the migrating woolerby the woolyness of the woolerby increases. The dewoolerby harvest the wooly of the woolerby and trade it to Pole and Pole, and any other kingdom depending on the coldness of the weather, for supplies for their next migration. Neither Pole nor Pole enjoys having woolerby and dewoolerby within its borders but tolerate their presence as a necessity. This is because it is almost worth freezing to death at either Pole or Pole to not have to wear a woolerby fur. Woolerby in addition to being exceptionally wooly are odiferous in the extreme. One traveler after wearing a woolerby fur found that his wife would no longer nag him or, in fact, stand within five hundred paces of him. His wife found that she preferred being further than five hundred paces from him and in the company of another man. Pole and Pole tolerate the odiferous presence of the woolerby and dewoolerby for one reason. This reason being that it is preferable to buy up the woolerby furs quickly than to have both the woolerby and the dewoolerby stay until the stench becomes so overwhelming that the dewoolerby can charge anything to move the herd a few lengths away from town. Peon stared at the beautifully crafted buildings in wonder. The buildings were constructed of expertly cut stone and timber. The more simple structures possessed thatched roofs while the more ornate ones had wooden or slate shingles. All of the buildings were extremely well kept and the town was surrounded by high stone walls for protection. Peon observed what appeared to be a market toward the center of the town and noted that it was extremely busy. After taking in the hustle and bustle of the lively town he proceeded with a lightened step down the hill toward the town gate. All the while, with the thought that he would soon have the delicious berries he sought stirring gently in his mind. Upon reaching the gate he filed in behind a mover cart that was being ushered through. As he passed through the gates he noted their fine craftsmanship with the detail paid to the goddess of protection at the top of the arch, her lovely gaze overlooking the travelers who entered. He was roughly thrown back out into a muddy rut created by the passing movers. Peon looked up to see a rather large brutish figure standing over him. Getting to his feet he saw that the figure was an ugly looking grunt. This was no surprise as all grunts are ugly but some are more ugly than others. As Peon’s eyes widened in surprise the uglier than average grunt approached him and began to speak.

“Well, well, what have we got here, hmm, perhaps a peon who hasn’t paid the toll yet?” grunted the grunt. As he grunted this, three other grunts surrounded Peon.

“Well peon, what do you have to pay the toll with? Or are my colleagues here going to have to show you the way back home?” he grunted.

Peon was characteristically stricken with fear and, as such, was lost fishing through the murk of his fear addled mind for an answer. Finding the wherewithal to formulate a response will take him awhile so we will leave him to collect himself and launch into a discussion on grunts. Grunts are a large brutish people who enjoy being large and brutish. They specifically enjoy being large and brutish around others who are afraid of brutishness, especially when it is combined with largeness. It is because of their subconscious need for this enjoyment that they are socializing with Peon. Unfortunately, due to a grunt’s inept social skills this socialization is often perceived by others as bullying. Bullying is exactly the way Peon perceived it, through no fault of his own, because the grunt had grunted his remarks. A study conducted at the Palladium Plateau University of the Eastern Plains determined that not all grunts can grunt. Specifically, only about thirty percent of all grunts can grunt with half of those only being able to do so intermittently. Another study proved that grunt grunting occurs most frequently when a grunt is angry. Having little else to do in the middle of the woods Peon had subscribed to Palladium magazine and was fully aware of these facts, hence his perfectly reasonable fear reaction. Now that we understand the misunderstood nature of grunts and Peon’s side of things it is only appropriate that a more sociable translation of the grunts speech be forthcoming.

Translation into Peonic of the perfectly reasonable grunt’s speech:

“It appears that this peon here has not yet paid the perfectly reasonable toll for repair and maintenance of this road, lets go collect it,” grunted the grunt reasonably.

“Greetings little buddy, do you have currency or barter to pay the perfectly reasonable toll with? Or are my colleagues and I going to have to show you the way back to my home for dinner and a night of rest? Because you may not pass without paying the toll,” he grunted in a most friendly manner.

Peon finally collecting himself after so many parts of a moon noticed the grunts advancing on him and used his recovered wits to respond to the grunt’s inquiry.

“I, uh, I have, um, some stuff … in my pack here to, um, barter with,” said Peon quickly.

The grunts stopped advancing on Peon and the uglier than average grunt considered this for a moment before responding.

“Show us,” he grunted.

Peon hurriedly emptied his pack onto the ground and backed away a few paces to let the grunts sort through his pile of belongings. The grunts set about rummaging through the pile picking over what few items Peon possessed. They sniffed at what little food he had left after his journey to town and found it was not to their liking. It is uncommon for a grunt to turn down food whether it is the finely prepared cuisine of a king’s palace or the stale lumps of goo from Peon’s pack. Peon thought that this was not a good sign in regards to his chances of surviving his encounter with the grunts. As it turns out, the grunts simply were not hungry (who would have thought?). A grunt picked up Peon’s bubbler and after examining it tossed it to him. Peon found a rock nearby, sat down on it, and began bubbling as the grunts continued digging through the pile of his stuff. He watched as they examined his fire starter, his extra set of clothing, his Furgy Frog, and a really nice rope he had found useful on occasions when he wanted to climb something. They threw all of these into a pile behind them without so much as a sound except to laugh at him when they found the Furgy Frog. Then the uglier than average grunt picked up the exceptionally sharp axe and advanced toward Peon with the other grunts following a pace or two behind him.

It is worth explaining what a Furgy Frog is so that one can understand why a grunt would find the fact that Peon was carrying one funny. In a time about two-hundred new moons ago there was a Countess named Furgy Urn Frugal. This countess was unfortunate enough to run afoul of a wizard who was wizzing in the woods near her tower. Being rather ruffled at this intrusion on his wizzing he laid a curse upon her turning her into a frog. If you know anything at all about wizards, spellcasting, or curses then you can figure out that this wizard was not very imaginative because this curse had been done so many times before. In fact, if he had had any imagination at all he would have realized that he was likely to be caught doing his wizzing that close to the countess’s tower. Unfortunately, this kind of misunderstanding can happen when one is unimaginative or in non-wizard speak when one doesn’t have brains. The Countess Furgy Urn Frugal spent quite a few years as a frog in a pond in the forest near her tower. Eventually some of her staff at the tower did go search for her when they stopped receiving their paychecks from the tower treasury but failing to find her or receive continued compensation for their services they left to find other employment. A concerned citizen of the overactive variety might find the staff’s behavior cold and uncaring, but I assure you this is not the case. The staff was doing their jobs properly. Whenever the countess wanted something she was to ring a small silver bell she carried with her and the required item or service would be provided for her. Since she never rang the bell after her transformation it was understood that she did not require any service. This protocol had been arranged by the tower treasurer who was also a close advisor to the Countess. It served them both well because the Countess did not like to be annoyed by her staff constantly checking to see that she had everything she wanted and her treasurer did not like being interrupted by the complaining Countess while he was spending her money. In a way, the Countess should be grateful to the treasurer for spending all her money because it is the only reason anyone came looking for her in the first place. One might wonder why the Countess never hopped toward her tower for help. This quandary is easily settled by two things the first being frogs do not like being away from water. The second being the chef on her staff had served frog legs on occasion and unlike the wizard she was very imaginative. One day as the countess was sitting on a lily pad in the pond she heard the unexpected sound of someone moving toward her in the woods. After a few short parts of a moon a boy of about the age of fourteen entered the clearing around the pond. He carried a fishing pole and a bucket of worms and beetles. He set about baiting his hook, casting his line, and waiting for some fish to bite. The countess decided that she should try and get him to help her though she didn’t know how he was going to convince a person of noble status to kiss her. She hopped off the lily pad, swam to shore, hopped up to the boy, and spoke. The boy promptly dropped his pole, jumped up, screamed, and ran away into the woods. The Countess sat, stunned, on the shore because she had not expected the boy to be frightened and because she had not spoken since she had been transformed many new moons ago. While not impossible it is rather uncommon to encounter a talking frog hence the boy’s reaction. After she recovered herself from her thoughts she decided that next time someone happened by the pond she would stay hidden so she could explain her problem before revealing herself. She then decided it was time for lunch and took advantage of the worms and beetles the boy had brought with him as bait. Several cycles of a moon after the boy fled from the pond another person came upon the pond. This time, as luck would have it, the stranger was a Prince who had decided the clearing near the pond would be a perfect place to rest before continuing on his travels. The Countess hid in a stand of cattails near the edge of the pond and addressed the stranger.

“Good Evening dear sir, I was wondering if you might be so kind as to assist me with a matter of some importance,” She said.

Somewhat startled the Prince looked around for the source of the melodious voice that had spoken to him and said, “Fair lady I would be pleased to offer what assistance I can but would you be so kind as to show yourself that I may see the beauty that is so present in your voice.”

The Countess considered whether or not it was the right moment to reveal herself and decided to play it safe and wait. “But dear sir I don’t even know your name,” she said.

“I am Prince Thavion Treehugger, my lady, and what may I ask is your name?” Inquired the Prince bowing sweepingly around the clearing.

“I am the Countess Furgy Urn Frugal,” she said.

“It is a pleasure to meet you wherever it is you may be. Would you not step out so that I may lay eyes upon your beauty and that we may discuss further this matter of importance to you?” he said again looking around the clearing.

At this the Countess hopped out of the stand of cattails into the clearing. The Prince while scanning the clearing for the Countess spotted a frog that had hopped up to him out of a stand of cattails. He quickly ran it through with the pins he carried and set about to do a wonderful job of magical taxidermy. It so happens that Prince Thavion Treehugger was from a kingdom to the west that was fond of preserving nature in all its forms. They had developed a method by which all natural creatures could be preserved almost indefinitely by stuffing them and charging them with magical energy. After finishing his marvelous job of magical taxidermy the Prince looked up from his work and remembered the Countess.

“My apologies for being so forgetful Countess but I am always so absorbed in my work. If you would but step out and speak with me I am sure that I can help you with whatever it is that you need,” said the Prince.

“Mmmmm huuhhhhh uhhhhh mmmmuhhhherrr uuuuuuhhhhherrrrr” screamed the Countess through the stitches in her mouth.

The Prince looked down and seeing that it was his recently taxidermied frog trying to speak to him promptly had a coronary and died. Although the people of the Prince’s kingdom made sure to stitch up the mouths of their magically taxidermied animals so that they did not eat each other no such constraints were put upon the Prince. He was unfortunate enough to dine upon steak every day of his life and this is how he ended up being struck down in his prime by his work. The Countess, although still as alive and well as a magically taxidermied frog can be, was in a bind. She was still pinned to the ground by the Prince’s taxidermy equipment and was unable to free herself. She struggled until nightfall and then watched a large white moon rise overhead. The Countess learned later that night that magically taxidermied frogs do not sleep and so began to hum various tunes to keep herself occupied. About ten to twenty new moons later a woodsman found the clearing while cutting down the brush that had grown up around the pond. While pausing in cutting down the brush he heard what sounded like humming coming from some tall grass near the pond. He proceeded to investigate and found it was coming from a stuffed frog pinned to the ground next to a skeleton. He unpinned the humming frog and stuffed it in his backpack thinking it would make a good present for his daughter. He looked at the skeleton for a short time then kicked some dirt over it and finished clearing the brush before heading home. He would have gone and gotten some help in burying the skeleton properly had he not remembered some advice from his father. The advice was along the lines of “its best not to get involved in such things”. It was just as well that he left the Prince’s remains in the clearing because had they been properly interred in the Treehugger’s crypt they would have been desecrated. The Treehuggers while doing their very best to preserve nature created many enemies in their attempts to do so. The main reason for this was that while the Countess Furgy Urn Frugal was the first person turned into a frog to be taxidermied by a Treehugger she was not the last. This unfortunate event happened to many people of noble birth and came to an end when a Treehugger taxidermied a wizard. This wizard had temporarily transformed himself into a ferret in order to retrieve a magic ring he had dropped down a hole. Upon retrieving his ring and sticking his head out of the hole he found himself grabbed by a Treehugger chloroformed and taxidermied before he could say a word. After waking in the Treehugger’s castle he removed the stitches from his mouth with the ferret’s rather dexterous paws and proceeded to transform himself back into his wizardly form. Then he magically removed the stitches from the mouths of the other animals. He was rather astounded when many of these animals started to thank him in courtly voices. After the transformed nobles thanked him and explained to him what had happened he cast spells transforming them back into their noble selves. The rather angry nobles led by a very angry wizard set about lighting fire to and pillaging the Treehugger estate while the Treehuggers fled in panic. After this incident the nobles led a vicious public relations campaign against the Treehuggers, which is why Treehuggers have a bad reputation to this very day. When the woodsman returned home to his family he kissed his wife and gave the humming stuffed frog to his daughter. The woodsman’s daughter was thrilled to have been given such a wonderful present. The next day she showed off her humming stuffed frog to all her friends. The Countess was not pleased by this turn of events because even though there were plenty of people around to help her she could not ask for help and she did not enjoy being poked and prodded by a bunch of children. She had also discovered while in the woodsman’s pack she could not move even though she was no longer pinned to the ground. At first she thought it was because she hadn’t tried to move in so many moons but after many days she came to realize that it was because the magic charge the Prince had imbued her with was mostly used up. After much humming and a new moon or so later luck finally smiled upon the Countess. The woodsman’s daughter, some many parts of a moon ago, had started to take sewing lessons from a local seamstress. The lesson she received this day was on the proper removal of stitches. While she was practicing the craft it occurred to her that she could put her newly acquired knowledge to practical use. She had always disliked the nasty stitches on her humming stuffed frog’s lips so she decided to remove them. After removing the stitches she set her supplies down and held her humming stuffed frog up to admire her work. The Countess having had the stitches finally removed from her lips decided to give asking for help a try.

“Little girl would you be so kind as to fetch your parents so that I may discuss with them some problems I believe they could assist me with,” the Countess croaked out. The croaking having less to do with her being a frog than her throat being dry from the many moons worth of humming.

“Who are you calling little?! I’m fourteen! Don’t you think you could ask me for help? No, of course not. You people are all the same you think just because I’m a girl and taking sewing lessons I’m not worth asking for help! Well I’ve got news for you froggy I’m not … I … ahhhhhhhh!” said the woodsman’s daughter screaming and dropping her talking stuffed frog.

The Countess made a ploofing sound as she hit the floor. “Would you mind not dropping me on the floor when I’m trying to talk to you?”

“Ya … Ya … You … You can talk?” stammered the woodsman’s daughter.

“Of course I can. I thought we already established that. Now would you mind fetching someone who might be able to help a talking frog?” replied the Countess.

“Uh, I think I should go get Miss O’Hara,” said the woodsman’s daughter who quickly ran into the other room to fetch the seamstress.

Miss O’Hara, the seamstress, was less than impressed by the girl’s story of a talking stuffed frog but decided that she would humor her considering how much she was being paid by the woodsman to give the girl sewing lessons. When the woodsman’s daughter returned with the seamstress in tow the Countess could barely contain her enthusiasm.

“I’m telling you it can really talk! It is just over there. Ask it something you’ll see!” said the woodsman’s daughter.

Miss O’Hara walked up to the Countess and bent over to examine the frog. “So you can talk huh? Have anything good to say?” she asked.

“Indeed I do, miss. I need your help removing—“ the Countess was unable to finish her request because seamstress released a shriek that would do a banshee justice and began backing away from her rapidly. Unfortunately, the sewing supplies the woodsman’s daughter had used to remove the stitches from the Countess’ mouth were lying on the floor behind her. In her hurry to escape the talking frog, the seamstress tripped over the sewing supplies and hit her head on a nearby table knocking herself unconscious. The woodsman’s daughter rushed to her side and examined her to make sure she wasn’t dead.
The woodsman and his wife having heard the scream from the other room and ran in and saw the unconscious seamstress. While his wife and daughter tended to the seamstress as best they could the woodsman went to fetch the local healer. It was many parts of a moon later when he returned with the healer. The commotion caused by the seamstress injuring herself had caused the woodsman’s daughter to forget the Countess. During all this activity the Countess stayed silent and observant. The Countess did not wish to alarm any more of the people in the house since she needed their help. She was also aware that her ability to speak was fading with the magical charge and that she should wait for an opportune time to make her request since she might only have one more chance. The healer quickly restored the seamstress to good health and she slowly sat up. The seamstress looked around the room taking in the faces of those standing over her. Then her gaze settled on the stuffed frog and she let out a scream and began yelling angrily at the woodsman’s daughter. When the family and the healer finally calmed her down she related her story of how the woodsman’s daughter had played a horrible trick on her making her think the frog could talk and causing her to injure herself.

The woodsman’s daughter did not like being blamed for this mess and objected strongly “But my frog really can talk! Just go ask it something!”

The woodsman very skeptical of this statement nonetheless wanted to believe his daughter was not a liar. He walked over the where the Countess sat, picked her up, and examined her looking for something to indicate the stuffed frog could talk.

“Would you kindly put me down,” said the Countess. The woodsman let out a shout and dropped the Countess who landed on the floor with soft thud.

“Allow me to introduce myself,” said the frog,” I am the Countess Furgy Urn Frugal and I respectfully request your assistance in—“ and that was as far as she got because just then the healer cried out and pointed his walking stick in her direction. There was a burst of green light from the end of the stick then the Countess flew back into the wall and fell to the floor with a thunk.

The healer walked over to the woodsman’s daughter and rested his hands on her shoulders. He spoke saying, “This demonic creature shall trouble you no more my child”. Then he walked over to where the Countess lay and picked her up stuffing her in his bag of healing supplies. He slowly turned around taking in the faces of the woodsman and his family and that of the seamstress. Satisfied that he had saved them from a demonic evil he took a deep breath, let it out, smiled, and walked out the door. The woodsman, the seamstress, and his wife watched him leave stunned that they had been so close to a demonic evil and not known it. The woodsman’s daughter watched him leave stunned that her stuffed frog had been blasted into a wall and then confiscated by the local healer.

Many moons later the woodsman’s daughter set up a shop selling stuffed frogs. The town’s children seeing another useless item to make their parents spend money on bought them as fast as they could be produced. With each sale the woodsman’s daughter told the tale of the Countess Furgy Urn Frugal and that is how the stuffed frogs became known as Furgy frogs.

Peon continued to sit and bubble as the grunts advanced on him, the ugliest one carrying the exceptionally sharp axe. It was not because Peon came into possession of some courage that sat there. It was because he was frozen with fear of his certain demise and his mind had drifted off elsewhere to hide.

The uglier than average grunt stood in front of peon and spoke waving the exceptionally sharp axe at him. “You will pay the toll with this exceptionally sharp axe,”

Peon thinking he was about to die said the only thing that came to mind. “Don’t you think that is a little much?”

The grunt stopped waving the axe and squinted at Peon thinking. Then he said,“ You are right maybe we get other axe,” and pointed to the much duller axe laying on top of the pile of stuff the grunts had been rummaging through.

Peon noticing his old axe considered how much more painful it would be to be hacked into pieces by it instead of the exceptionally sharp axe. He quickly responded “No, No that is quite alright, you can have the exceptionally sharp axe. It really would be better don’t you think?”
The grunt squinted some more pondering Peon’s proposal then grunted “No we get the dull axe,” walking over to the pile and picking up Peon’s old dull axe. He walked back to Peon waving the dull axe around. When he got close Peon cringed back waiting for the blow to come.

The uglier than average grunt patted him on the shoulder and handed him a piece of paper saying, “You drive a hard bargain but the toll is not very high. The road has too many potholes.”

The uglier than average grunt and his companions walked away to harass someone else leaving Peon to stare bewildered at the paper in his hand. The paper read “Receipt: Toll Paid In Full. Please Keep For Your Records”. After sitting down on a rock to recover from his near brush with death Peon stood up and collect his belongings the grunts had piled on the ground. He then proceeded to pass through the town gates to purchase the delicious berries that had caused him so much trouble.

The Legacy of Deep Throat

The secret of who Deep Throat is has finally been revealed. I’ve noticed this has sparked debate on television about whether or not Mark Felt did the right thing by leaking information to the press. This debate seems absurd to me because by leaking the information he made sure people who broke the law were sent to jail. His motives for going to the press have no effect on whether or not that action was good because that should be decided by the outcome of his action. His action was good because it resulted in exposing illegal doings and plots by various individuals. That is a good thing for all Americans. As for whether or not he could have accomplished the same result through government channels it is safe to say he could not have. His superior to whom he should have reported his information was quite possibly one of the people involved in the deceitful acts taking place. Regardless of his motives Mark Felt did all Americans a great service by showing us the corruption in our own government. I do not need to know a person’s motives to give credit where it is due.

No Candy For You!

Several years ago I learned of a horrific event. The elementary school that I had attended and loved no longer allows the children to celebrate Halloween. On that day, the children are not allowed to wear their costumes to school and no party is held in celebration. The reason given for this is that a celebration takes up valuable time for teaching and preparing for SOLs. The other reason is that the school administration only allows three parties per school year and it had to choose when to celebrate. The current "holidays" are celebrated: Winter, Valentines Day, and Spring. I believe my recollection of that list is correct but the school may use different names for the same times of the year. It is worth noting that the celebration on Halloween was cancelled a few years before the limit on parties allowed per year was imposed. I have it on good authority that a large part of the reason for its cancellation was that a minority of parents felt that the holiday was promoting the practice of witchcraft and/or other satanic practices. The administration obviously did not feel that it was worthwhile to stand up for the majority of parents and students that felt differently. I am aware that when Halloween originated it did involve practices of the occult but since those two thousand years ago it has evolved into a much more fun and friendly holiday. The children in the schools do not care about Halloween's origins. They only care that it is a day on which they get to dress up, receive candy, and have fun. I know because I was one of them and the people who ended this celebration should have thought back to when they were children and asked one simple question. Which did I care more about then, witchcraft or candy? I realize that I am posting this far in advance of Halloween but with the approach of Easter or "Spring" holiday I find the need to comment on it. For the sake of political correctness and deference to those of other religions the Easter celebration and the one near Christmas were renamed even before the Halloween celebration was cancelled. I have no problem with this because we had plenty of paper cutout menorahs to go with the paper Christmas trees. I do believe that this is a bad sign that these celebrations could fall victim to attacks from individuals who believe that they are representative of religion in our public schools. I have no desire to see school children loose more of their few chances for parties. The school's claim that the five or six parties we had before these policies existed take valuable time away from teaching and SOL preparation is ridiculous. The teachers found it impossible to teach us on Halloween because our minds were occupied with what we would fill our bags with after class not because we were celebrating in class. As for the SOLs, I did fine without them and so did most of my elementary school class. For proof of this I have my diploma from high school and in two more years the one from my chosen University. Children have the right to have fun and I think these policies are snuffing it out bit by bit. My message goes to both the people who want to remove celebrations in schools because they promote the occult and the people who want remove them because they are associated with holidays they do not believe in. Leave our candy alone!

Sayings of the Parents and the Children

Sayings of the Parents:
"The world is not fair."

Sayings of the Children:
"Then let us make it so."

Why People do Stupid Things

I have always wondered why people do stupid things. Now I think I know. It is for a combination of reasons one of which is a lack of communication. The second is the inability to perceive and understand things from another perspective. The third is that people feel emotions but do not always understand where they come from and misdirect their reactions and their intent. I am writing this because today I punched my roommate of two years. The only other person I have ever hit was my best friend. We were at lunch together and for a reason I don't remember I punched him in the face. I only did that half-heartedly and I did not put my full strength behind it. I have no idea why I did it. He punched me back and then we just stopped. We are still friends. I punched my roommate and I did it with most of my strength. I don't feel that I meant to hurt him but I do feel that I was trying to direct my anger towards something. It shows because I busted his lip up and I really didn't think I was strong enough to draw blood. What made me angry in the first place was I had been showing two funny videos from a website to a friend and my roommate cut off the power strip to my computer. This is where lack of communication and understanding another perspective enters. I know my roommate dislikes my friends coming back with me because they stay for about twenty minutes and we talk. He was studying and I was going to get them to leave after about ten minutes, which was the length of the two videos. My roommate was telling them to leave and watch the video later and I ignored him. I ignored him because I thought he would be smart enough to figure out that because I said "you have to see this one before you leave" to my friends that it would be the last of the two videos I had planned to show. I was wrong and he decided to shut off my power strip. If I had just told him explicitly that this was the second and last one instead of implicitly none of this would have happened because he would not have been forced to drastic measures. This is where understanding another perspective on his part would have helped also. I was tired of people touching my computer without my consent. My roommate earlier this day tried to hit command Q while I was doing an online assignment. He has done this before when I have been playing games and it did not bother me much then and he did not do it often. One of my other friends has a habit of hitting the power strip on my computer while I am playing games. This has occurred more frequently recently and made me angry over time. I would have much rather punched him for being a jerk than my roommate but I misplaced my aggression. I did not realize this until a while after I hit him. I am angry with myself for not stopping this when I saw signs both in myself emotionally and in what my roommate said that could have prevented me from hurting him. I am glad I am not always this emotional or I could do more stupid things. I am sorry I hurt my roommate. That is all I really want to say and for the record I only have a bruised elbow so I hope things get back to normal.

The Toothy Pencil

This is a story from my early childhood gather from it what you will.

When I was in first grade I had a pencil. I had been given this pencil from my dentist on one of my first visits. This pencil was a prized childhood possession of mine for no real reason other than I liked the way it looked. It was a shiny dark green with smiling white teeth spiraling up its length and at the end there was a black eraser. One day, maybe a week or so after I acquired the pencil, my teacher approached me and asked if a girl from my class could borrow one of my pencils for a while. I had a few other pencils out on my desk and I was using a large blue one I had received from my teachers at my preschool. This pencil was unique in that no matter how long I used it seemed never to be used up. I still have this pencil and although it is now a couple inches shorter its longevity is still astounding. Having pencils to spare I consented to allow her to use a pencil. The teacher picked up the shiny green one from the dentist and handed it to the girl standing behind her. At the time this did not bother me though later I would regret it. The day proceeded and I enjoyed it very much. It consisted of easy work, a good lunch, and a fun playground break. Near the end of the day I approached the girl I had loaned the pencil to. To my dismay when I requested the return of my pencil she appeared to have no idea what I was talking about. I explained to her that I required the return of the shiny green toothy pencil in her possession and reminded her that I had loaned it to her earlier that day. She informed me that the pencil was in fact her's and that her dentist had given it to her! At this point I was quite surprised and retreated to my desk for a moment to think. I considered for a moment that I may have asked the wrong girl and that she was clearly right. However, this was clearly wrong because she matched my recollection perfectly and as everyone was doing his or her work at this moment I could see that no one else had a similar pencil. After coming to this conclusion I decided I would have to appeal to a higher authority, the teacher. I approached my teacher and informed her that the girl refused to return my pencil. I walked behind and to the side of my teacher to confront the girl. The teacher asked her about the situation and the girl denied that the pencil was mine. I pointedly reminded the teacher that it was she who had asked if the girl could use the pencil. The teacher had trouble recalling the event but seemed to remember something similar happening earlier in the day. She asked the girl again if she was sure that the pencil was her's. By now the girl was looking troubled and appeared to be close to tears, as well she should have been for lying. After what I have mentioned my attention wondered and I didn't hear all that the teacher had said to the girl. The teacher continued to talk to the girl and then turned and talked to me. The teacher then misdirected me somehow though my memory is unclear of just how after these many years. What I do remember is that the teacher did not think I was lying about the pencil but that the pencil wasn't really important enough for all this fuss. I was not going to get my pencil back. I was rather shocked by this and had no idea what to say. I returned to my seat and continued my work until the end of the day. As was her habit my mother would ask me about my day and being so young I would easily open up and tell her everything I remembered. Upon telling her about my pencil, what the teacher had said, and generally complaining about it, she told me that I was right but that the teacher was also right and that the pencil didn't matter much. This made me angry and I complained some more and questioned how this event could possibly be right. I know now the reason why the teacher maneuvered me away from recovering my pencil though I could not think of one at the time. My teacher was attempting to avoid a scene of the girl crying and throwing a tantrum. She obviously believed that the pencil meant much less to me than to the girl and so I could do without it to spare the girls feelings and make things easier for all involved. In a way she could have been right. If before this I had been given a trade of the toothy pencil for an equally fancy looking pencil I would likely have accepted. I could easily get another on my next visit to the dentist and, in fact, I did. However, the value of the toothy pencil was in the fact that another person had wronged me. I expected it to be set right. Since I was not going to receive help from the classroom authority I did what any decent wronged individual would do. I took matters into my own hands. The following weeks, I think it was about two, I plotted on how to get my pencil back. I considered being forceful, walking up and taking it and shoving the girl to the ground if she tried to stop me. However, I did not want to do this because I had no desire to cause the girl physical pain. I also knew this would get me in considerable trouble even if the pencil was mine to begin with. When I was in elementary school I was against using physical force to get what I wanted. I would even avoid fighting people who tried to shove me around. This was not because I was afraid to fight but because I thought there was always a better way to fight. I always found some way to avoid confrontation. Blackmail worked well to keep people off my back but that is another story. I decided that I would have to steal my pencil back. Unfortunately, the girl was very protective of it and it took me about two weeks to "recover" it. When I finally did the toothy pencil had more than one reason for its name. During the time I had to wait to steal it back the girl had chewed on it. She did not stick with chewing the eraser like most people; she had chewed all along its length. The pencil was also much shorter from her heavy use. I was annoyed at these changes to my prize but was glad that I had recovered what was mine. I made a point of surreptitiously showing the girl that I now had the toothy pencil to let her know that I had triumphed over her. However, I received no pleasure from this because the girl no longer had any attachment to the pencil. She didn’t even care that I now had it! Afterwards I made sure to tell my friends never to trust her and I myself had no dealings with her ever again. I felt cheated and I knew that my loss would likely never be set equal. After the day the toothy pencil had been stolen from me I never again kept more than one pencil out on my desk. I did this so I could claim the pencil I was using was my only one and I could not afford to loan it to anyone. The moral of this story is that whenever possible one should seek fairness always. For those of you who believe in karma the story continues. As of this date the girl in this story gained a prodigious amount of weight in High School and never was a straight A student. With any luck, she will spend the rest of her days in trailer park. The second moral of this story is let go of those grudges when the universe equalizes things for you. I really love karma.

The Thug and the Fairy

I've been told that people find this amusing so I decided to keep it posted.

In this writing I discuss killing in self-defense. I believe most people can agree with the idea that it is ok to kill a person if they are actively trying to kill you. However, there is a gray area of just how much force you can respond with if the person's intentions are unclear. Police officers face the decision to use deadly force more often than the majority of people. I have read many reports in newspapers about police officers shooting an individual who appeared to be carrying a weapon but was actually unarmed. Some of these shootings result in the death of the suspect others do not. In the cases where the individual has died I read of much public outrage against law enforcement. In most cases where the individual has been killed and the public blames the officer and other local law enforcement I read that the person was fleeing the police or resisting arrest. In many cases the person had committed the crime for which the police were chasing him or her. If the person had not done these things the police would have had no reason to think they were dangerous and required the use of force. It is because of this that I believe it is mostly the individual's fault for getting him or herself killed. I do not believe that this means that police shootings should not be investigated because there are some corrupt officers who do shoot people illegally. However, I do believe that there is an overreaction in this country against the use of force by police. A person fleeing from the police and appearing to reach for a weapon, even if they have not committed a crime, is still fleeing from the police and is acting in a dangerous manner. It is unfortunate that an innocent person is sometimes shot because they acted suspiciously and fled but if they had behaved in an innocent manner they would not have been risking harm to themselves. I believe that I have adequately addressed the matter of police officers killing in defense of the law and their own person. I will now introduce a hypothetical situation in which a person is not in danger of being killed but may still have the right to kill to defend himself. Once, in a land far away there were many people living in a kingdom. On a street corner at night a fairy is dancing in the moonlight. In the shadows is a thug who is observing the fairy. The fairy continues to dance for much of the night while being observed by the thug. Without warning the thug springs upon the unsuspecting fairy. The fairy has three possible courses of action: it can do nothing and be beaten to a pulp, it can kill the thug, or it can try to outrun the thug. In this kingdom it is a sport among thugs to smash fairies into the pavement as hard as they can. Smashing the fairies will not kill them because they are durable magical individuals who can only be killed by things that pierce them. However, smashed fairies are badly injured individuals who will likely never be able to move at any great speed again. This is because their wings and limbs are very fragile and will break like twigs with enough applied force. The fairy chooses to flee but is not fast enough. Unlike most thugs this thug is extremely quick and capable of matching the fairy's pace. This leaves the fairy with the other two options. Should the fairy allow itself to suffer harmful injury rather than commit the seemingly evil act of killing a being, which does not have the intent to kill and cannot kill it? I believe the answer to this question is simple. The fairy should kill the thug. The thug has already committed an evil act against the fairy in attempting to violate its person by smashing it. The thug had no right to do this and therefore is open to action by the fairy to prevent this. The only action the fairy can take to prevent the evil thug from smashing it is to kill the thug. This is because the thug is so large compared to the fairy any other form of restraint is impossible for the fairy to accomplish. In explanation of how a fairy can kill a thug let us return to the story. The fairy flew at the thug's face and drilled through the thug's eyeball. Upon reaching the thug's brain it commenced to dig through it until the thug was dead. This hypothetical situation demonstrates how in our world a small person could be justified in using a firearm to kill an unarmed attacker but only if the attacker was so much more powerful than them physically that they could not fight them off in any other manner. An argument against killing the thug could be much like the following. The fairy did not have a right to kill the thug because the amount of harm it inflicted was not equally to the harm it could suffer. I refute this because in another example it is much like saying a slave does not have the right to kill his masters to be free. The slave's masters commit an evil act by keeping him in bondage. If he attempts to escape the masters capture and return him to his slavery. His masters are not extremely cruel because they keep him well clothed, fed, housed, and ask only that he clean the house once a week. However, he is not free to leave their service and if he refuses to work he is whipped. The slave will never be free until he kills his masters. To say that the slave cannot kill his masters because he would be causing them more harm than they cause him by his enslavement is the same argument as that against the fairy killing the thug. I believe I have done a satisfactory job of explaining the reasoning behind my arguments but if something seems unclear feel free to comment and I will try to explain myself more thoroughly.

The First Saying

I do not fear life or death
Nor pleasure or pain,
I fear only myself for the sorrow I may bring.

-The Major

The Sea of Night

This is a rough work I created which I still have not edited. I thought it might be interesting to readers and give a perspective on what my unfinished work is like.

The clipper ship Shadow sailed over the sea, which remained tranquil for five days. At the start of the sixth day of the voyage clouds had gathered on the horizon darkening the sky. Peter looked out over the seascape at the grayness and the growing choppiness of the waves. He thought of his family and friends he had left behind to make this voyage. He knew his mother and father were worrying about him but he had made his choice. The wind picked up and tossed his dark brown hair, he continued to gaze out to sea. He could hear the crew scrambling on the deck to prepare for the storm they knew was heading towards them. He knew getting to his destination was going to be dangerous when he set out. He turned to look aft at the Captain who was yelling orders to the crew over the rising strength of the wind. Peter noticed there was a glint in his eyes, a mixture of excitement and possibly fear. One never knew if a voyage through a storm on the sea would be his last. Peter thought if I am to perish on this voyage then so be it. I have seen to all that I can control let fate decide the rest for me. Peter turned back to the sea and watched the darkness grow along with the wind and the waves. It has to be about noon now even though we can't see the sun he thought. Rain began to fall down from the black night of clouds soaking him making him one with the wetness of the sea. Waves washed over the deck knocking members of the crew from their feet and washing the around the deck. Through the thick sheets of water Peter caught a brief glimpse of the Captain gazing out into the dark blankness. He had the look of complete calm as if the storm was something that he was observing from the outside. The waves became larger as the day continued. At times Peter was knocked off his feet and once he was almost thrown overboard. He would have been except for a crewman who was quick enough to grab him by the back of his shirt and strong enough to hall him back over the rail. He was able to catch more glimpses of the Captain and every time the Captain appeared as still and serene as he had before. As evening approached the storm grew worse the sheets of rain becoming dark walls too thick to see beyond and the wind a howling demon, which removed all other sound. The crew when he encountered them in his attempts to keep hold of any perch he could find on deck appeared tired and beaten as if they were undead being without life but not yet faded from the world. The storm persisted into the night, Peter began to loose his strength and he was giving in to the tiredness he felt. He felt as if the ship were giving in to its tiredness as well. He felt as if it were sagging beneath him to find rest and sleep. Then the Shadow bent and the world turned over. He fell into cold like an infinite number of icy needles on his skin. He was alive. He broke the surface struggling and was pushed back under. He fought against the dark wetness, which surrounded him again and again. He reached the divider between it and the sky many times but each time he was pushed back down into the cold. He felt it sink into his limbs as he felt himself sink into the darkness. He looked around for something he did not know but found only the blank abyss. He stared into the darkness letting the cold consume him for an eternity. He saw colors. They appeared like mist in the black of the sea and they floated in the darkness around him. He could not tell if they were close to him or far but he sensed that they were distant. He felt sound in and around him, which he thought was a mixture of people's voices and music. It was beautiful sound. It brought to him memories of his life and his love he had left to cross the Sea of Night. A spark ignited a fire in his mind and the cold left him. The mist enveloped him and he knew the darkness.

The Gospel of Thomas

I have taken an interest in these sayings since I watched the movie Stigmata. The Catholic church rejects many of these sayings which many scholars believe to be the written words of Jesus of Nazareth. http://www.gospelthomas.com/

The Edge of Forever

The one thing I was lacking when I created this blog was a good writing explaining the meaning of The Edge of Forever. I have now remedied this problem.

Standing on the edge of forever
I look out before me and see the future
As it spirals away into oblivion
I sense the past set in stone behind me
The present always in flux beneath my feet
Here I surf the chaotic flow around me
I guide myself towards what end I do not know
The waves directed by infinity steer my course
Cold, warm, red, blue, hard, soft, melody, silence
Resonate in the waves pulsing out from forever
Led by the hands of creation.

The Reawakening

After a long time without posting I have decided to reorganize and add to The Edge of Forever. Please read and enjoy the stories, philosophy, and thoughts herein. Anyone wishing to use my works found here as part of another literary work or on another site please check with me to get permission first. It is likely I will grant it.

THE WORKS FOUND ON THIS SITE MAY NOT BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE EXPRESSED PERMISSION OF THE RESPECTIVE AUTHOR OR AUTHORS. PLEASE CONTACT THE AUTHOR(S) FOR REPRODUCTION RIGHTS.